The Felixes

Or, the Anti-Oscars.TM

Welcome to, the occasionally underlined site (damn you, CSS!) where you can crib one-liners for your Oscar party --

We've been called a "hot site" by USA Today and The Indianapolis Star.

On this site you'll find an archive of more than a decade of jokes ('08 and '09 we were basically Twitter-only). For '11 movies -- the current race -- you can come here, AND follow us on Twitter at ... TheFelixes

Best Picture of 2011

The Artist

PRO: Silent movie excellent for elderly Academy members, who can never hear dialogue in movies anyway.

CON: If you like movies in black-and-white, you're voting for The Help.

The Descendants

PRO: For all those who wish that their spouses would land in irreversible comas, the feel-good movie of the year.

CON: In the #Occupy era, weird to see a movie about the problems of the 1 percent. Alternate title: Endless Bummer.

Extremely Loud and Incredibly Close

PRO: Poignant post-9/11 tale of autistic child's search for a connection to his dead father, starring America's Sweethearts Tom Hanks and Sandra Bullock, as well as his-time-may-finally-be-here supporting actor nominee Max Von Sydow.

CON: Even in these tough times, hard to see 9/11 as "the good old days."


PRO: A masterpiece of technique, showcasing the first truly sophisticated use of modern 3-D with live actors.

CON: Everything in the movie has three dimensions except the script.

The Help

PRO: In an era of '60s nostalgia that includes "Mad Men," this movie perceptively shows what America was like from a somewhat untold perspective, that of domestics.

CON: We didn't see it, because we couldn't find a babysitter. Though we did hear good things about the scene where Viola Davis jumps up and down with Ringo in a field.

Midnight in Paris

PRO: Sentimental and sarcastic, and Owen Wilson does a great job as a time-traveller, channeling Woody's neurotic dialog (take that, Kate Hudson).

CON: As time-travel movies go, Owen Wilson is no Michael J. Fox, that's all we're saying. We kept waiting for the snazzy DeLorean to show up.


PRO: Dry nonfiction book about baseball statistics transformed into gripping entertainment about struggling baseball team.

CON: SPOILER ALERT -- Although you may already have noticed that the band of ragtag hopefuls portrayed is NOT the New York Yankees, team doesn't even win.

The Tree of Life

PRO: For those of you who thought Vanilla Sky was too transparent, at last, an incomprehensible masterpiece for the rest of us.

CON: The must-sleep-through movie of the year.

War Horse

PRO: Acclaimed play about the brutality of war that showcased incredible use of puppetry is transformed into a Spielbergian tour de force; a battlefield epic that gets amazing performances from animals and humans alike.

CON: Saving Mr. Ed.

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